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Personal Musings

in Personal Musings, Uncategorized

That Extremely Late Year Ender

When it comes to year ender posts, this has got to be one of the last that will come out. However, I still wanted to do it for reasons that are quite sentimental.

The past year was indeed something a lot of people would like to forget. I admit that there were some things that did leave me feel gutted despite being physically (and somehow even figuratively) detached from them. Like the deaths of Carrie Fisher and Alan Rickman as well as news of violence all over the world and of course, there’s politics – but I wouldn’t go into that anymore.

Despite all of those things, 2016 ended up being good year for me personally. It was a year that brought me a lot of good things. From my career to my relationships, it’s been pretty great and I’m nothing short of thankful.

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in Fitness, Personal Musings

The C Scare

Last October, I got the fright of my life – just in time for breast cancer awareness month. I imagine it would be nicer to say that I’m only writing about it now because it took me a while to get over it. It sounds more dramatic, doesn’t it? In reality, I just didn’t have the time to do so. I’ve never been the dramatic type – well, at least in public.

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings, Uncategorized

Expat Life: On Making Friends and the Struggle for Something of My Own

It’s always a lot harder to do this when you’re older, no? But let me back track a little.

When I first moved to KL with my husband, I would have to admit that while I was looking forward to our new adventure, I found myself feeling sad during the first few months. This is probably the first time I am ever talking about this. But I guess, it’s time.

I was in a different country with no friends, no job to keep me occupied, and nothing to do for the first few months except scour the internet for interior design inspirations and trying to nail down a ‘look’ for our new home. A job that I was even sharing with my husband who also has a passion for interior design and homeware. (A post on this later, I promise)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCDPy3eiqeV/

I won’t say I was homesick as I have always been very capable of adapting to a new place. I didn’t get the urge to hop on a plane back to Manila and I was hell bent on making it through whatever it was that I was feeling.

It’s the first few weeks or months where you have nothing to keep you busy that are the hardest. I was on my phone a lot – a lot more than usual – bugging my closest friends from home and egging them on to tell me about what’s been happening back home. I was in the mall a lot during office hours, window shopping by myself and thinking to myself – for the first time ever – that it would be nice to have a friend around.

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Almost Diplomatic - carolific - Diplomat’s Wife - Wedding - Wedding Planning - Affordable - Alvin Malasig
in Diplomatic Incidents, How-Tos, Personal Musings

Marriage: How we got our dream wedding without breaking the bank

Almost Diplomatic - carolific - Diplomat’s Wife - Wedding - Wedding Planning - Affordable - Alvin Malasig

Everyone at my wedding! (Well, almost! Francis, our photographer, was obviously taking the shot)

Four things: Lots of research, careful planning, friends and family who love us dearly, and a teeny tiny bit of luck

When my husband proposed on February 2013, we got into planning our wedding right away. We had a theme, a budget in mind, and 8 months to get everything in place. Sounds like a challenge, doesn’t it? But truth be told, wedding planning isn’t as bad and excruciating as some people might think. It was actually a breeze for the both of us. (I didn’t turn into a bridezilla at any point in the planning and even on the wedding day!)

Almost Diplomatic - carolific - Diplomat’s Wife - Wedding - Wedding Planning - Affordable - Alvin Malasig

Nope. No bridezilla! Although I did cry on our wedding day – a lot.

With a husband who gets a kick out of planning along with friends and family who were ever so supportive, we got what we always wanted. A very classy (if I may say so myself) and intimate wedding with just our closest family and friends where we were able to talk, laugh, and mingle with everyone which made everything just oh-so special.

Plus, we were also able to go on a honeymoon in Singapore and Bali within the wedding budget! How much did everything cost? Php 250,000 (Conversion rates: MYR1=Php11.04, EUR1=Php51.92, USD1=Php45.69)! Which is basically unheard of in the Manila wedding circuit these days.

**In case you’re looking into having your honeymoon in the Philippines, you can check out this post by Honeymoon Backpackers!**

Almost Diplomatic - carolific - Diplomat’s Wife - Wedding - Wedding Planning - Affordable - Sofitel

In fact, someone who writes for a wedding magazine found out about our wedding, saw the photos, and was eager to write about it for a feature on intimate weddings. However, when I told him how we did everything by ourselves and how much money we saved by not going through planners and all the people in the wedding business, he told me he couldn’t write about it anymore. Why? Because the magazine will lose advertisers. 😛

So I won’t go into detail about everything as this is not a timely wedding guide anymore since it was two years ago. But I hope what you read here will be great advice to anyone who’s in the planning stage! 🙂

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Random Thoughts and Happenings 2

Things that have been happening lately compiled into one blog post. Get ready for the word vomit! 😉

Home Alone

The husband is off to another work trip and this time, he’s going to Davao, in the Philippines for a couple of days. I’ve always been an independent person but I don’t think I will ever be used to him going on work trips and being gone for days. Knowing that he won’t be coming home for lunch and at around 7pm (yes, the people at the Philippine Embassy in KL work long hours) feels weird for me.

Also, I do tend to worry and I’m not that used to sleeping alone anymore. The teddy bears on our bed are actually there for a reason, you guys. 😉

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

Personal: The #DearMe Tag

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Been seeing the #DearMe videos all over YouTube done by my favourite vloggers and I just think that it’s such a great idea/initiative for women’s day/month! I know I’m kind of late to the party and this would have been executed better through a video blog but my video editing skills are not good enough. 😛

1. Always be kind

Even though people around you aren’t. There are times when your patience will be tested and your faith in humanity will be blown into smithereens but don’t let yourself be jaded. It will take years before you can change that way of thinking.

2. You don’t have to conform

When I was a kid, I would often be teased because I was the ‘different’ one. I was extremely thin and white (to the point of being pale), I had curly hair (straight hair was in), I preferred to read by myself during recess rather than play, and come high school, I still preferred to read instead of experiment with makeup during class and flirt with boys. Yes, your eyesight will be very bad by the time you’re a junior in college. You will feel bad when other kids would tease you. But! Eventually love wearing glasses and contacts. And those big eyes, curly hair, and white skin will eventually land you part time modelling jobs as early as high school and you will earn extra money from it. All your reading will end up giving you a wild imagination and that will make sure you are never bored – ever.

3. It gets better

Related to number 2 – don’t worry. Your awkward phase will end. Some of those mean kids who teased you when you were in primary school will actually tell you you’ve got pretty eyes and hair by the time you get to college and it would be a gratifying moment when you tell them that you’re not interested. 😉 You will question yourself why you were ever insecure about those body parts ever. You will have the time to experiment with makeup the summer before college and you will thank yourself later on that you preserved your skin for as long as you can from the harsh chemicals makeup has (except for those few times you enjoyed trying it on for school programmes). That summer before college will also be about change. You will be more sociable and you will actually start to like having friends and going out. So, primary school Carol. Don’t ask yourself why your interests are so different from the cool kids. Don’t even try to conform. There will come a time for everything and later on, being the school nerd will be cool. Other kids will start worshipping Harry Potter and Star Wars and you will wonder why they do that now when everyone thought it was uncool to read those thick books and talk about light sabres when you were 8 years old.

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in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

On International Women’s Day

“In societies where men are truly confident of their own worth, women are not merely tolerated but valued” – Aung San Suu Kyi

I am lucky to come from a country where women are respected, celebrated, and valued. I am lucky that I am married to a man who sees how different I am from him and from what the society dictates me to be. I am opinionated, stubborn, and I put so much value into my independence and instead of those qualities making him feel threatened, they only make him love me more.

Not all women are as lucky. We must all push for gender equality and break the chains of stereotyping and the norm. We all have a right as to who we want to be, whatever gender was assigned to us at birth.

No more slut and body shaming (Curves are all the rage by feminists nowadays but that doesn’t give anyone the right to body shame skinny people who don’t have eating disorders – just fast metabolism. Having less curves doesn’t make you less of a woman!) . No more telling us what to do and how a woman should be like so. Not all of us are meek and not all of us will let men take the lead 24/7. Equality. That’s what we want. Men who are secure of themselves will not be afraid to give us that.

Happy international women’s day, ladies!

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

An Unpopular Opinion on Charlie Hebdo

Thought long and hard about this. And as someone who worked for the news, I admit that yesterday, I felt extreme fear and anger over the incident in Paris. So much so that it won’t go away until I wrote down my two cents: Murder is never the answer. An insult also deserves an insult, not a violent retaliation. An eye for an eye.

Meanwhile, freedom of speech – a privilege we enjoy – should be used as a tool to inform, to criticize (constructively), and to inspire change where it is needed. Humor is welcome. To poke fun at some things we find different from what we are used to is a mainstream reaction. But as journalists, we all have the responsibility to use freedom of speech to bridge gaps by giving information rather than widening them. To inspire change where it is needed and not force it on people.

To give laughs (satire) every now and then but know when to stop. Know when it is doing more damage than good. Not just for the muslims but for any other religious or racial group.

This doesn’t mean we’re scared or that we’re ‘toning it down’ for a senseless reason. We must speak the truth and point out what’s wrong. Always. And that should be the number one reason for a report or a cartoon – not to illicit ridicule or to make others feel inferior over one’s values (whatever they may be) that he/she find superior over others.

Bringing together people through understanding how different they are from each other and promoting respect between them is important. Freedom doesn’t mean you can go around insulting everyone just for the sake of it. It means you have the right to an opinion. A constructive one. To go way beyond that and to hide behind this freedom as an excuse for being mean is an abuse of the freedom of speech we enjoy.

Giving constructive criticism is different from promoting ridicule and being mean. You can always argue that to you, it’s valid. You like racist jokes? Go ahead and laugh but keep it to yourself and your friends. If you publish it – for thousands or millions of people to consume, a journalist must ask himself whether what he is sharing to a huge number of people is a responsible piece of journalism or something that will just promote hate and misunderstanding.

Having the freedom of speech doesn’t mean you can go around publishing irresponsible and mean pieces of journalism just cos you are free to do it. If it ain’t helping to share information or promote understanding of an issue (negatively/positively/whatever) – trash it.

By all means, poke fun at the things and people that need to be given a taste of satirical medicine. But will a naked prophet on a compromising position get your point across to someone who you decide to insult (in the most extreme way for them possible)? Or maybe a different funny drawing – one that would not fan the flames of an ongoing problem – could have done it better? Maybe something else that can represent the problem you see in them clearer rather than their prophet in a scandalous position. You insult, enrage, then expect them to understand you. How will they listen to you when you’ve already made them so angry that they are now blind and deaf to what you’re saying? There are other ways to be effective in one’s job. And as journalists we must call a spade for what it is. Those cartoons were made with the intention to enrage some, to illicit condescending laughs, and to sell copies – to inform was just secondary. And this may seem like being too much of an idealist but maybe we should all remember what journalism is all about. While selling more copies is great, shouldn’t your responsibility to the society have more weight?

It’s time we value freedom of speech more. It’s time we put a higher premium on journalism. Do it responsibly. A pen is mightier than a sword (or a gun). Use your might properly.

I entered journ school not to become famous or to be rich (it will and should never happen in journalism!) but with the mindset that maybe my stories can start a small change in the world and inspire a bigger change in the future. Sounds like a boatload of cheese, I know. But Im sure other journalists felt the same way. So we should stick to that. Don’t let yourself be disillusioned by what you see other journos are doing. Be that change.

Once again, murder is never the answer. I hope the gunmen are captured and brought to justice. Murder is an act that is most vile and my heart is broken that these people had to die for their craft and their ideas even though I disagree with them to some extent.

This incident should not dampen the spirits of those who seek to report true and unbiased stories. Journalism is a vocation. The truth can sometimes be expensive – some journalists had to pay for it with their lives. But it’s the life we chose and if we stand for the truth and everything else that matters like peace and the freedom of expression and practicing one’s own religion, then we may be seeing a better world in a nearer future.

I look forward to a world where it is normal for Atheists, Christians, Jews, Muslims, and any other religious group to coexist by letting each one do his own thing. “You believe that? That’s weird. But that’s all cool. I believe this. You find me weird. I’m ok with that too. Let’s agree to disagree.” Sounds better, don’t you think? Heck, I want my future kids to live in that kind of world. Too idealist? One can dream. ‪#‎NoToViolence‬ ‪#‎CharlieHebdo‬

P.S. And just so its clear: I have my own opinions about religion and politics. I’m no saint. And I have bias too. But to let your bias make its way to your journalism is irresponsible.

in Diplomatic Incidents, Personal Musings

2015 in Resolutions

Ah, that time of the year again when I make promises that intend to keep yet somehow don’t. But still, year after year, I make such a list of things so that I will have something to look back to come the 31st of December and how I fared in life.

The year has started off pretty well for me and I couldn’t be happier.  We had guests over whom Alvin and I love to bits and we were able to see more of Malaysia in the first few days – thanks to my husband’s driving skills and eagerness to find new places we can explore. Such a travel geek, he is and wanderlust me just loves reaping the benefits.

Anyhoo. Resolutions. Here we go.

1. Healthier Carol 2015

I am skinny girl. Always have. Despite junk food being the longest relationship I have ever been in, I have always been an XS, 5’6 and a half girl. Too tall, too skinny. While I used that to my advantage in my earlier years and did a bit of modelling, I realised that health is something I should be working on now that I’m getting older. At 25, I still eat a lot of junk, I sleep pretty late, and I’m still pretty much sedentary despite the once-in-a-while workouts.

So, I plan (like last year) to turn everything around this 2015. I plan to eat healthier – maybe not give up junk entirely because it’s too good for that – more often. Since we moved to Malaysia, Alvin and I have been enjoying MSG free meals. I don’t even cook with it unlike his mom and my grandma in the Philippines (it’s a thing back home). I also promise to choose organic ingredients whenever I cook and introduce more veggies into our diet.

Come to think of it, I’ve already started getting healthier in 2014. I have graduated from a size XS to an S and I actually look and feel better about myself. But this year, it’s time to up the ante.

One more thing is that I promise to go to the gym – Impulse Studio in particular – regularly. Skinny and firm won’t last forever unless I work on it. I’m aiming for a toned body with a stronger core. So watch out for that here on the blog. I will be writing more about my road to fitness soon! 🙂

2. Write more

Ah, the resolution that has been written down over and over for the last decade. I do write. Not a day goes by without a couple of sentences written down as writing is my life. But with a blog, 3 book ideas in the pipeline, and the occasional “Hmm, should I write this for Rappler?” Or “Should I send this over to (insert name of international magazine/newspaper here)?”, sometimes, time just gets the best of me.

There’s too much to write that my fingers can’t keep up with my thoughts and sometimes, with the busy schedule here in KL, there’s just no time to grab my laptop, sit in a quiet corner, and start typing. Yes, I am one of those writers who can’t write when it’s noisy. Ok, scratch that. I can write under any circumstance but of course, it won’t be as good as I hope it to be (I am my worst critic). I value my output and would rather not go for templated, advertorial sounding articles, thank you very much. Be it just here in my blog or in any publication.

So this year, I – once again – am planning to work harder in making some sweet time for my writing.

3. Best Wife Ever Year 2

We all enter marriages as different people. In fact, I believe that there’s not one single couple out there that is entirely perfect for each other. Alvin and I are polar opposites and I admit that between the two of us, I am the stubborn/loud/hard-headed/sungit/taray/bitchy one. Hihi. He admits that he finds it endearing and who would really want to end up with someone who just nods and says yes to everything that you say anyways?

And no, I do not plan to change that side of me ever. After all, that’s what makes Carol, Carol. Opinionated, passionate, stubborn. So my resolution that’s in relation to this is to be more patient and open to accepting that not all people are alike. I think I’m doing pretty well in this department already but still, it hasn’t reached second nature level to me yet.

Alvin is logical and pragmatic while I am emotional and creative. Come to think of it, we make a perfect team by complementing each other. Growing up as ‘technically’ an only child, I have a hard time accepting when things are not done my way. But this 2014, I realised that there are a lot of things I need help with. Yes, I do see myself as a strong woman and I’m definitely a feminist but it’s nice to have help and your husband’s opinion especially if he sees things differently – it makes you see things and solutions at a whole new perspective. Then you two can weigh things and pick (or combine) the solution for certain challenges in life. (Ours include usually home improvement and decorating discussions)

I am glad to report, however, that my husband and I should win model couple of the year. 😉 Instead of fighting over petty and even big things that we don’t agree on, we are so good at talking it out. A is what he wants, B is what I want, we do C which is a combo of A and B because we realise it’s better. I gush at how often the phrase “better together” comes to mind. But of course there are times when we have to do it his way or my way – depending on the situation and whose idea fits the situation better. Our discussions do take a while and arguments and evidence are usually presented (married to a lawyer, ladies and gentlemen) but everything is ironed out in the end, we even realise how mentally stimulating it is even if it’s a topic that’s more on the emotional side.

4. Get (even) better at cooking and baking

Ah, cooking. My husband has been very happy with my cooking so far and I only intend to get better. I’m also planning to focus more on cooking Filipino dishes and making sure that they look nice on a plate – which can be a challenge. Our cuisine is mostly brown and murky on the outside (but heaven in your mouth, trust me!) so presenting it to people who are not familiar with them can be quite a challenge. I’ll let you know how it goes. 😉

Oh and my baking is definitely going uphill. When a friend once told me that I might find baking hard to do, that scared me. But no. Really! You just read instructions and follow them! Once you get the theory and if you use common sense in what tastes good with what, then you’re bound to be stellar at it. Really. So yes, my neighbours should expect more sweet goodies from me.

5. Learn to drive

While I already got the basics (I can drive a manual car and do turns now!) thanks to my husband who taught me how before leaving for KL, I’m gonna have to take formal lessons so I can get a license here and start driving myself around.

While I do love being driven around by my husband when do some exploring in and out of the city, it would be nice if I can be his sub during long drives. That way, we can go further from KL and see more of Malaysia! Also, it would be nice if I can drive myself to the gym instead of taking a cab. 😀

6. Learn to swim

Ah, a dream since childhood that never came to be as time was always elusive. I was always doing something else during the summer. Different activities when I was a child, partying when I was in high school and college. I love the beach and the water so it’s time we try to get in tune with each other. (It rhymes!)

My neighbour Karen, who’s the wife of one of Alvin’s colleagues, plans to take the lessons with me this summer! Yay!

7. Learn to tone it down

I am passionate. About a lot of things. When I dislike something or someone, I go all out. In fact, I never do anything half-assed. However, when it comes to negativity, I should learn to disengage myself. When someone does one of my friends wrong, I should offer support but not lash out. There have been times when I was even angrier than the person who was wronged. Lol. I should start calling this blog Undiplomatic rather than Almost Diplomatic.

My best friend even calls me her “attack dog”. You see, I just can’t take it when people hurt or say mean things to and about the people I love. Especially when they themselves are not the ones who are more likely to fight back. So, to keep the peace on earth, I will now just offer support and not get too involved in the negativity other people experience. I am flattered that people often seek my advice when they face challenges in love or even conflict. But from now on, I will just give advice and not let the negative vibes get to me. I will also increase my intake on positive vibes. Come to think of it, I am now a very happy person (contrary to the chronic resting bitch face I’ve always had up until 2010). I smile a lot and I am extremely friendly. I plan to stick to that while making sure I don’t let the negativity that sometimes makes it way to my mood get to me.

So now that this has been documented, let’s see how I’ll be doing in the next 11 months.

More later!

Love,

Carol

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