This article first appeared in the August 28, 2021 issue of The Manila Bulletin.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been in a state of rushing. Rushing to school, rushing to finish a project. I was always in a hurry to grow up, to get a job. To run after sources and to finish my stories. My time as a TV reporter was a constant state of an adrenaline rush followed by a huge crash after a full day’s work. Then come the hours of feeling exhausted as I stared at the ceiling, hoping to fall asleep. In the morning, I wake up to my alarm, ready to have another go at my energy roller coaster.
I brought that way of life with me even as I left the broadcast industry. Often saying yes to so many things only to rush getting from one commitment to another. “I never run,” AA Patawaran, Manila Bulletin’s lifestyle editor, once told me. It was a balmy evening in Berlin and we were on our nth glass of port. “But what if you’re late for a flight?” I asked him. He told me no, not even. He was smiling but I knew he was serious.
AA never seems to be in a rush and that’s something that fascinates me. I’m always in a hurry and, more often than not, I often find myself in a pickle because of it.
RUSH ME NOT Manila Bulletin Lifestyle editor AA Patawaran and the author
I remember a diplomatic reception some years ago. It was in Kuala Lumpur, at the Philippine Ambassador’s residence. I was a new diplomat’s wife, just a year into accompanying my husband at his post. I came from other commitments that brought me from one side of the city to the other in a matter of hours. As expected, I was famished and hoping food would come along real soon. The buffet was opened and the ambassador urged people to help themselves. No one made a move so I thought it would be encouraging to people if I went ahead, scooped a little bit of each dish, and ate at one of the cocktail tables.
Wrong move. While it did encourage people to follow suit, it wasn’t my place.
At the end of the event, the ambassador’s wife came up to me and quietly told me that hosts would never eat first. She was so sweet about it, saying that we all learned these things as we went. I still wanted the earth to swallow me up whole, however, never to be seen again. It slipped my mind for a second that I was technically part of the hosting entity, my husband being from the same embassy as the ambassador. Now, I never forget. Ever.
At a national day celebration – for Thailand, if I remember correctly – people were taking photos with former Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir Mohamad. As someone who used to report on foreign affairs, Dr. M’s work fascinated me. I wanted to get near and ask him a couple of questions. So, under the guise of getting a photo taken, I made my way up to the crowd. One of the guards waved at me to approach them, I was in such a hurry to get to the space beside Dr. M that I walked directly in front of him. I could have walked around the couch, but I didn’t—that would have taken me two seconds longer. The space in front of him was a little tight. Thus, my behind, covered by a short tutu-style skirt, passed directly in front of his face.
I guess there’s really a reason people with an air of elegance never seem to be in a hurry. It’s why they never seem to commit a faux pas.
Turns out I was in a hurry over nothing. He couldn’t hear the questions I had for him thanks to the hubbub happening around us. I couldn’t even hear myself. I was mortified but my friends assured me that he didn’t notice.
BLUNDERLESS WONDER Carol with former Malaysian Prime Minister Dr. Mahathir Mohamad, otherwise known as Dr. M
More often than not, being in a rush would often leave me in a bind. I guess there’s really a reason people with an air of elegance never seem to be in a hurry. It’s why they never seem to commit a faux pas. Ah, if only I learned much earlier how to plan my day better. I wouldn’t have had to rush to the event at the ambassador’s residence and I would have had enough time to grab a bite prior. If I wasn’t starving, I probably wouldn’t have been the first at the buffet.
There’s no harm in incurring an extra two seconds to walk around a couch instead of squeezing my way through a narrow space in front of the former prime minister. It’s true that in this life, each second counts. We must know, however, when to spend a few extra seconds. That incident was one of them.
But as the ambassador’s wife told me, we learn things as we go. I had to have those learning experiences. Since those two events, I’ve always had crackers or something to tide me over between meals in my purse. I also eat a little before events, just to make sure waiting won’t be a problem. I always pick the better route, one that might not necessarily be the quickest but the one that has the most space.
Now, every time I’m at an airport and when I find myself rushing to cross a road—both literally and not so—I try to stop and take a deep breath. I try to slow down and walk at an even pace instead. It will take a lot of time but I want to get to a point in my life when I’d have fewer gaffes and, like AA, I can always say “I never run.” Not after anyone or anything, either.
This article first appeared in the August 28, 2021 issue of The Manila Bulletin.
