Been seeing the #DearMe videos all over YouTube done by my favourite vloggers and I just think that it’s such a great idea/initiative for women’s day/month! I know I’m kind of late to the party and this would have been executed better through a video blog but my video editing skills are not good enough. đ
1. Always be kind
Even though people around you aren’t. There are times when your patience will be tested and your faith in humanity will be blown into smithereens but don’t let yourself be jaded. It will take years before you can change that way of thinking.
2. You don’t have to conform
When I was a kid, I would often be teased because I was the ‘different’ one. I was extremely thin and white (to the point of being pale), I had curly hair (straight hair was in), I preferred to read by myself during recess rather than play, and come high school, I still preferred to read instead of experiment with makeup during class and flirt with boys. Yes, your eyesight will be very bad by the time you’re a junior in college. You will feel bad when other kids would tease you. But! Eventually love wearing glasses and contacts. And those big eyes, curly hair, and white skin will eventually land you part time modelling jobs as early as high school and you will earn extra money from it. All your reading will end up giving you a wild imagination and that will make sure you are never bored â ever.
3. It gets better
Related to number 2 â don’t worry. Your awkward phase will end. Some of those mean kids who teased you when you were in primary school will actually tell you you’ve got pretty eyes and hair by the time you get to college and it would be a gratifying moment when you tell them that you’re not interested. đ You will question yourself why you were ever insecure about those body parts ever. You will have the time to experiment with makeup the summer before college and you will thank yourself later on that you preserved your skin for as long as you can from the harsh chemicals makeup has (except for those few times you enjoyed trying it on for school programmes). That summer before college will also be about change. You will be more sociable and you will actually start to like having friends and going out. So, primary school Carol. Don’t ask yourself why your interests are so different from the cool kids. Don’t even try to conform. There will come a time for everything and later on, being the school nerd will be cool. Other kids will start worshipping Harry Potter and Star Wars and you will wonder why they do that now when everyone thought it was uncool to read those thick books and talk about light sabres when you were 8 years old.
4. Reinvention is ok
In life, you will find yourself going through several phases. You will have to reinvent yourself every now and then. Don’t hesitate. Trust your instincts and just jump when you feel like it. Reinvention doesn’t mean you’re a traitor to your past self. You’re just accepting that life isn’t stagnant and you’re open to good changes so as to keep improving yourself. No inhibitions. And by the time you’re 23, you’ll feel completely happy and content with yourself because you will be able to achieve something right away that other people try to learn all their lives â completely content and happy with who you are.
5. Never regret anything
All those crazy nights when you had no sleep? All those nights you went to a party and got crazy with your girl friends? All those petty mistakes? You did them and you learned from every fall. You’ll be fine in the end.
But yeah, you can regret that bit about dating those two guys from college for way too long. You learned one of your best lessons there though: Never make decisions under the influence of beer goggles. Oh, and because of those two, you now know how to spot posers from a mile away. Especially those who pretend to be good basketball players or surfers or DJs. *cringe*
6. Trust mom and grandma
When they didn’t buy those elephant pants for you when you were 10 years old, they were actually doing you a favour. All the cool girls did wear them at the time. But now, they’ll have to live with photos of their 10 year old selves wearing that atrocity. Lesson learned: Trends never last. So always go for a classic look. Thanks mom and lola. đ
7. Other people don’t define you
When I was young and nerdy, my peers teased me. They called me names because I didn’t act cutesy. Books were my world and I spoke like an adult. Therefore, I was deemed unattractive and not that much fun. When I went to college and started experimenting with makeup, boys started to notice. I had a phase where I thought that was nice and started ‘taking control of my dating life’. I would party when I want to and go out on dates. I was called names once more. For wearing makeup and paying attention to how I look, people also assumed that I was dumb before I can even open my mouth. Most of these people were men whom I have a higher IQ than. It hurt. At first. I felt judged. But after a while, I realised one thing: it’s possible for me not to care and just live my life the way I want to. And me not caring made a world of difference.
They can’t hurt you if you don’t let them. You don’t have to go out of your way to prove yourself. Things will just happen.
8. Don’t lose hope in love
Growing up, you’ll see a lot of failed love stories among your friends and family. Don’t lose your faith in love as someday, you will find someone who will change your mind completely about commitment and marriage. Yeah, you’ll have to give a career you love for this guy but so far, it’s going to be one of the (if not THE) best decisions you made in your entire life.
9. Stop biting your nails.
Just. Stop. Once you start growing them, you’ll end up being obsessed with keeping them nice and clean and polished but that’s worth the time and money because nail biting is a very ugly habit. While we’re on the bad habits to break topic, you should also stop brushing your hair. Curls are not meant to be brushed. It leaves them frizzy! Embrace your messy curls early on!
10. Learn to let go
Yes, you were born a control freak and when things don’t go according to plan, it drives you nuts. When things don’t go perfectly or when you make a few mistakes, try not to dwell on these things. Take them as learning experiences. Learn to go with the flow and accept criticism without beating yourself for not being perfect â in your studies and in your career eventually. When you learn to this, you’ll see yourself getting even better at what you do. Your mentor in the news industry will even tell you that you remind her of herself when she was young and that will make you feel so good that by then, you won’t feel the need to be perfect anymore â just someone who does her job the best way she can. And if your teachers and bosses are happy, you should be too.
In short: High standards are great but stop it with the impossibly high ones. You’re only imagining that you’re not good enough and it will only leave you stressed out!
So there. Those are the 10 things I would tell my younger â possibly 13-year-old self. If there are any other young girls out there that are struggling with the same things, I hope these can help you out. And here’s a virtual hug! >’_'< (did I do the keyboard hug thingy right? Ugh. I’m so un-techie sometimes)
Always remember that as long as you stay true to yourself, everything becomes fine in the end.
More later!
Love,
Carol
